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[19 Nov 2009|10:51am]

wellspirit
[ mood | amused ]

Whenever I think about you, lately, I cannot see your face. I see David Boreanaz instead.

It would seem I've been watching a hell of a lot of BONES.

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Weird Anguish [18 Nov 2009|10:27am]

cataleptik
great love.
big fuckin deal...all the cliches about...ah, all the AOR hits, REO fucking speedwagon,

i don't wanna SLEEP,
i just wanna keep on...uh huh, all true.

but so what?  argh. deep weird anguish.

but this is not a cliche. it's not love and truth that hurt and suck. it's ALL THE OTHER SHIT.

i can SO handle the truth!  so tired of lies, bullshit, DENIAL.  ugh...

how can i be so happy and so sad at the same time?

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one of the ten best actors of all time. one of the greatest [17 Nov 2009|10:22am]

cataleptik
[ mood | exanimate ]

LONDON - Veteran actress Helen Mirren is to be conferred with a lifetime achievement award for her contribution to cinema.

http://www.helenmirren.com/pages/newsblog_files/emmyredcarpet.jpg

The Oscar-winner will be presented with the trophy at the 19th annual Women in Film and Television Awards here next month, reports imdb.com.

Event organisers say Mirren will receive the honour for her “outstanding and lasting contribution to film and television”.

Previous winners of the award include former Bond girl Dame Diana Rigg, multi Oscar-winner Katharine Hepburn, and “Educating Rita” star Julie Walters.

The Passion of Ayn Rand: 

Mirren and Stolz made her story superb, the filmmakers chose to make the film about the objective love relationships in the philosopher author's life.   i NEVER saw anything like it before that...

Mirren and Stolz getting it on on hardwood floors,

elaborate lighting as the sun went down and venetian blinds created a lovely scene...


i actually forgot that the emeritus actor Peter Fonda was IN the movie!  but i remember his performance, it was terse and commanding.  They made what could have been a long drag-on of a tale about a writer compelling...



director Becker says it as well as i could from the soapbox of experience....

http://www.beckerfilms.com/index.html

        “The Passion of Ayn Rand” is a made-for-Showtime cable movie, which I used to not take seriously and not even put on the master list of films I’ve seen.  However, I now consider them as real as any other movies, since the best films I’ve seen in the past couple of years have been either made-for-Showtime or HBO, specifically: “Elvis Meets Nixon” and “Don King: Only in America”.  “Ayn Rand” isn’t nearly as good as these other two, but there’s a heck of a lot more to think about here than any recent theatrical films.  Anyway, if in “The Patriot,” patriotism is confused with revenge; in “The Passion of Ayn Rand,” passion is confused with humping.  Helen Mirren, who plays Ayn Rand, used to be known for her nude scenes and sex scenes, having begun her career in Michael Powell’s “Age of Consent,” an early, adult nudie picture, and went on to do “Caligula,” which was supposed to be the first legitimate porno film.  Ms. Mirren gives a world-weary performance with a Boris & Natasha Russian accent as she and Eric Stoltz, playing Nathaniel Brandon, her number one fan, hump on every flat surface available in the 1940s and 50s as their respective spouses, Peter Fonda and Julie Delpy, look on and painfully tolerate it so that they too can be considered modern and open-minded.  What we are led to believe is that Ayn Rand needed a good hard daily fucking to get “Atlas Shrugged” out of her and since her husband Peter Fonda wasn’t up to it, she used Nathaniel Brandon for her purpose, as he used her to his purpose.  It all makes sense, but sadly there isn’t much passion on display, and montages of humping just don’t cut it for me.


http://www.beckerfilms.com/index.html


i tend to agree with most of what becker says.

but, i bet montages of humping actually DO "do it for him" although it might be professionally deft for him to state otherwise online...hee hee.

http://www.helenmirren.com/images/perf/hm_ar.gif

But also...there is this term floating around which i mellow with..."Neo-Objectivist..."

i saw the illogic in Rand's statements when I was a senior in High School. OF COURSE contradictions exist. "No, they don't."  YES THEY DO and there's one now...ugh...

proving the negative?

It was her sheer fierceness  -- and the fact that she was a Jew on the down in a nation known for equal racist brutality as Stalin's hated fascist Communism -- that, perhaps, gave her the courage, the sheer will to state opinions on such a prolific level.


Escaping Stalin's hate of Jews, she left utterly impoverished Soviet Russia and came to the United States -- where she got suckered by the same constitutional republic that almost all of us are hypnotized by by the age of six.  She'd never seen opulence and riches like New York before, no doubt...and became enamored of capitalism.  Which was arguably her savior.


The flaws in her philosophy come from denial's logical terminus.  People who assume things that they personally have not experienced are not real are just too short sighted. I have never seen the planet Jupiter, or mainland China, with my own eyes.  I would be as much of a fool as Rand if i therefore assumed that they were not real, because I could not see them. "There IS no such place as China!  there's no Jupiter, either...if I haven't seen them THEY AREN'T FUCKING REAL!!"


Such arrogance goes along with Ayn Rand. Now internationally, governments and their economies are collapsing -- because she influenced SO MANY CAPITALISTS. 


"Good."

----------------

something weird as my train of thought derailed:

http://www.popstar.com/Helen_Mirren/

WHO DID THAT?

maybe Rach did it herself. 

"3-way..."

I'll definitely remember that number.

--

REPUBLICANS LIE COMPULSIVELY.  yeah, Hitler was mentally ill. 

i find it sorta hard to feel sorry for him though...

Jung and Freud and the cola wars of psychoanalysis. If Jung had won and Freud had been shoved into the world of the fringey and speculative instead of vice versa, we'd live in a much saner world, and George W. Bush might never have been president. Or -- he might not have been so diabolically and obviously insane.


And up to now...






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which you've never ever seen before...that SHOCK YOU!!! [15 Nov 2009|02:09pm]

cataleptik
[ mood | chipper ]
[ music | Pow! beastie boys ]

basically,
i believe in LIES.  i believe in truth, also, which makes life easier.
but if i didn't believe in lies -- i would always, always be susceptible to deception.

it's good to believe in things in general, like the guy who said "Everything is true, even false things are true."

i understand that.  Lies come from an intention -- to deceive, dominate, to get over on someone. Often liars have the goal of taking advantage and then LAUGHING LOUDLY at whoever they have vampired.

but...
just because i believe in LIES -- it doesn't mean i don't believe in other things.

Cool errors, or "golden mistakes" are also something to believe in...


i definitely believe in synthetic versus organic.

like:  the government is fucking itself up -- people have to take direct action, because basically, they are WRONG to be in charge.  "Fucking up the planet" is one way of putting it. 

the basic hatred that they have -- and show -- for women and children -- the basic state of tax-based ENSLAVEMENT that corrupts people. It's wrong -- a sort of lying false righteousness that actually sickens.

To say They Make Me Sick - understatement --but real.  They sicken me and objectively -- of COURSE they sicken and kill people.  The Military industrial complex...it's NOT there to make people Happy or make them Feel Good. It's there to objectively Hurt People -- and to trick people into paying into it, becoming proud of it...

the culmination of events and histories colliding and combining bring us to a front row seat in the great Battle between Good and Evil.  And those things are real, as well...anytime someone says "there's no Evil"  back up and fucking CHECK. 

The other one i worry about is when they say "never ending battle between Good and Evil."  Yeah, maybe...but maybe that's a lie.  Maybe we are tricked, tricked into thinking that there must always be evil.  Yeah, i could imagine some ancient force of evil saying "you can't live without me...there's no way."

the ancient smiling liar of posession, the enemy of Good and Virtuous simply because they are there...
an ancient smiling thing of hate that would insist that it would always be around....armed with lies.

But it gets nervous when one observes it directly --
and perhaps this Mayan thing is actually about The End of Evil.

 That would effectively end the world as we have known it -- the world of injustice, lies, dead children frozen in the snow while Bureacracy laughs --


When I finally tell the story of the Demon Slumlord -- how completely stupid and ultimately, self destructive he was -- I will get some good applause.


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[12 Nov 2009|02:39pm]

wellspirit
is ready for divine intervention.
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Life [11 Nov 2009|10:10pm]

sister_moon
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | Vermillion 2 ]

I have no clue what to write. Im listening to Bellas Lullaby from Twilight. Its a very cool song. Very mellow and fits my mood perfectly. I am not in the best of moods but most people who know me would say thats nothing new. Which is really isnt. Im just tired and Im tired of being tired. Theres nothing to do though in this house but watch tv or be on the computer and I get so bored with things online after a while. *sighs* Im worried about going to GA. Yeah it will be good to see my family but all the drama thats going on is going to make it difficult. I wish my grandmother had never passed away then things would still be normal. You know I still forget sometimes that shes gone and I will think to call her then I have to remember that she wont ever answer my phone calls again and its like this wall breaking inside me and I cant handle it. I want her back so much but I know thats never gonna happen and that kills me inside. You know this will be the first christmas without and thats gonna be hard enough but lets just make it worse with half the family not talking to the other half. *Sighs* Why cant they mature and realize what they are doing to the rest of us. All I wanna do right now is cut and thats why this entry wont be to long cause I need to take my ass to bed before I do something stupid. I would love to do something stupid but I know I cant. I wanna do something to myself before I go back to GA like get a tattoo or a piercing. Something new and different. Its been a while since Ive had anything done and maybe the pain will help me as well. *sighs* I dont know. I need to start walking again and maybe that will give me something to do. The temp needs to warm up a bit though first. 28 days till I go to GA. Blah. Kevin showed me how to download ringtones to my phone which is majorly cool. I downloaded Grandma got run over by a reindeer just for Kevin. lol. I put down for Jeff Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson. Im worried because I am sinking really low in my depression and its not a good thing. Well I am gonna head to bed. Night.

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Life [10 Nov 2009|07:20pm]

sister_moon
[ mood | bitchy ]
[ music | Already Gone ]

I wonder if I have anything to say today. Dont know how long I will write just felt like posting something in my journal as I talk to Sc. I gave her the link to my journal yesterday. Just as long as Jeff doesnt get the link things will be fine. Jeff would be so pissed if he read this. Oh well. Its my journal and my life and he has no say in them anymore. *rolls my eyes and sighs* So what have I done today. Not much. I got up around noon and hung out with mom for a bit and then crashed on her bed till 4 in the afternoon. I totally blew off Jeff today but I just wasnt in the mood to actually get up enough to talk to him. I finally answered my phone the second time he called me and told him I was sleeping. He left me alone after that and I continued to just doze in and out. I was also watching the neighbors kids when they got home from school. Basically just if they needed something they could come over and ask me. Debbie still isnt home so Kevin is over there now. I had to drive to PA tonight to get cigg stuff. That was annoying. I hate driving at night. And Kevin has been getting on my nerves today. Actually everyone has been getting on my nerves today. Im so tired of being alone. Im tired of watching Mom and Wolf be together and knowing that I have no one here to kiss anymore or to just curl up on the couch together and watch tv. I'll write more later.

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Oh well [09 Nov 2009|11:22pm]

sister_moon
[ mood | crappy ]
[ music | nothing ]

Well I cut tonight. It felt good but I am so tired of people telling me what I can and can not do when I cut. It takes the pleasure out of it because then I cant just let go I have to keep some control. And that takes the release out if it which is why I crave to cut so much. Im cutting more then I was before. *sighs* Whatever. I bought my ticket today to go to Ga so its offical. Im going back to Ga for christmas. Yay. Whatever. I really dont wanna write so im going to bed. Blah. Have to be in bed in 30 mins anyways. WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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